I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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