you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
