You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
