so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
