dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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