its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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