I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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