I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
