Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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