PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
