i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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