Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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