She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i barfeds in our rink
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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