Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
