I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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