She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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