This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize