HIV tests are more positive than that guy
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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