Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
