The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I have feelings that need drinking.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
