I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
