But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
