Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
