if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You did what with his pubic hair?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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