fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
