Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
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Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
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Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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