I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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