We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
