i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
