Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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