So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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