bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
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I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
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I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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