I need help removing her.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Randomize