I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
it's like iHOP with fire
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize