Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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