Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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