so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Randomize
