At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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