I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize