Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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