you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
