Me. At least after what I've been through.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
