So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Randomize