hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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