Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
