wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
