i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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