You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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