I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize