it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
