the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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