just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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