i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
