That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
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you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
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You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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