can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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