Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
