i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
even my farts smell like vagina
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
