New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
