You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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