If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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